Day Five

Today I will look for "tender mercies" - small blessings in my life.

My grown children are amazing blessings. My daughters and I love to go to lunch, eat lots of goodies, and then go to the gym together. That makes perfect sense!

Here I am sitting at the computer with a very beautiful baby boy on my lap. He has my cell phone in his mouth, which keeps his hands occupied only for a moment so I can type without his help. He's healthy, cute as can be, and I am so blessed to have him and my four other grandbabies in my life.

I look to my left and see a view of brilliant fall colors out my window. Every so often runners pass by, they are taking advantage of the cool air of fall. I am so blessed with health. In a few minutes my daughter Hannah and I will go for a run.

My parents gave me a stable childhood, thought I was special, taught me the importance of commitment, and took me to church every Sunday. Extended family ties bless my life.

The man I married loves to spend time with me, adores me, thinks I'm smart (he's right about that!), and has always been a good provider. We are best friends.

My bedroom is beautiful, fit for royalty. It's calling my name! Zzzzzzzz

Day Four

My challenge for day four is to think of a time when I relied on the Savior for strength beyond my own capabilities. This is my personal story.

When I was 37 years old, my mom was diagnosed with bone cancer, and after six months of watching her go through much pain and suffering, she died three days after Christmas. Caring for my mother during those last few months of her life was a life changing and a mentally excruciating experience. But, I will always cherish that time I could serve my sweet mother. It seemed as though a chapter closed in my life, and left me in a sad place.

Over the next couple of years, I battled depression. This is what depression feels like to me... I am out to sea. It is dark and blustery. Winds are howling, rain and cold sea water are splashing me. The roar of the ocean makes it impossible to hear any sounds or feel anything but fear. The only way I can get out of this place, is walk a long plank that takes me to the shore. It's so dark I cannot see the plank most of the time. It's slippery and wet, and I can't stay on it without help. I try to walk on it, but because of the challenges, I find myself back in the boat curled up in a little corner with a blanket covering my head.

Along with some anti-depressants and the following visualization, I finally overcame and got to the shore.

My Savior is out there on the plank. He speaks to me with encouragement, holds out His hands, and sometimes even carries me along the plank. As long as I am holding on to Him, he never lets me go. Even though, I'm filled with fear, as long as I focus on the peacefulness that surrounds Him, I can keep going along the plank. I have faith that I can make it with His help. If I slip, I quickly reach for Him.

I still use this visualization when I'm feeling depressed or anxious or just in need of some extra strength.

Day Four