Day Thirteen

"Who is among you that feareth the Lord, that obeyeth the voice of his servant, that walketh in darkness, and hath no light? " Isaiah 50:10

Me. Fear the Lord. Obey the counsel of the Prophet. Walk in darkness. Have no light. Yes, this is a very good description of apathy. This is the very thing I have been thinking about over the past few months. Go through the motions, but feel spiritually sluggish.

Example:
Testimony meeting..."Ho hum, not feeling it, don't think of bearing my testimony, for I need strength from others."
Family scripture reading..."OK, hurry hurry, need to get going today."
Personal prayers..."Not feeling it, say a few memorized clichés, it's better than nothing, right?"
Personal scripture study..."I'm a little sporadic, but very busy. Sooner or later life will calm down, and I'll be more consistent."

Here is my "natural man" coming out again. I know exactly what I need to do. But, somehow I find myself in a pit of apathy. Isaiah in chapter 50:11 explains my situation further. "Behold, all ye that kindle a fire, that compass yourselves about with sparks: walk in the light of your fire, and in the sparks that ye have kindled. This shall ye have of mine hand; ye shall lie down in sorrow."

So the chapter in today's book is perfect for getting out of this pit. I will take the journey of the day.

Ways I have been able to turn to the Lord for direction and support... This is an attitude thing. If I lose my pride, and submit, almost automatically I feel the Spirit. I am directed continually throughout my day. Calm feelings and peacefulness come over me. I'm happier, able to feel the Spirit, listen to that "still small voice," and be directed in all things. I feel softer, more kind, more loving. My thoughts are more clear and directive. My prayers come from the heart not the logical check off list of just things I need and things I'm grateful for.

Ways I have been able to trust the Lord...Let go of the "sparks that I have kindled." I not sure if that makes sense at a logical frame of mind, but in my spiritual mind, it makes perfect sense. Let me not walk in the "sparks of my own fire, and compass myself in these sparks." Be open to the Saviors' love. Open and trusting, that's it.