Sorry about the negative post.

In todays' reading, it tells of the authors' great grandmother, and how she wrote this spiritual journal. The journal is so uplifting that the family gets together once a year to study the messages she left them.

So my post today was supposed to be spiritually uplifting and instead I wrote about my troubles with my son (which whom by the way is still in trouble, and I really don't know what to do about the situation).

I'm going to keep up with this 21-day quest, and I'll try to keep on task, but today's post just didn't turn out. Sorry!

My mother was an avid journal writer. Soon after she died, I sat down with her journal and wanted to know what she felt as she was going through the horrific painful death of bone cancer. There was nothing. The weather was beautiful outside, she went to the store, she had a little pain her legs, she needed to get finished doing this or that. What? Why didn't she tell me? I would have liked to know what she was feeling. She was so sure that complaining was not acceptable, that I didn't even know a whole real part of her.

I want to be a real person. I don't want to be negative, but I want to be real.

Day Three

I worked all day. The boys are out of school, so they pretty much ran wild all day long without supervision. I'm sure they loved not having me around to keep them picking up after themselves, cleaning their rooms, doing a few chores, and not watching too much TV. Now, Carson is at a friends house, it's getting close to 10 pm. I told him to tell me where he was going before he left so I could pick him up. Oh my...ugh!

How does this work in with today's challenge of keeping a journal of my uplifting and spiritual thoughts? Right now, I'm anxious, and worried about Carson. I'm sitting by the phone hoping that he calls soon. I'm exhausted from working all day. I didn't really have much of any spiritual experiences today. I forgot to say my prayers this morning, because I slept in a little too long, and jumped out of bed and hurried. Before I go to bed, I will read a few scriptures, and say my nightly prayers. I will try to handle the Carson situation in a Christ-like manner. How is that? Hummm! Some kind of consequence without losing my cool.