Day Four

My challenge for day four is to think of a time when I relied on the Savior for strength beyond my own capabilities. This is my personal story.

When I was 37 years old, my mom was diagnosed with bone cancer, and after six months of watching her go through much pain and suffering, she died three days after Christmas. Caring for my mother during those last few months of her life was a life changing and a mentally excruciating experience. But, I will always cherish that time I could serve my sweet mother. It seemed as though a chapter closed in my life, and left me in a sad place.

Over the next couple of years, I battled depression. This is what depression feels like to me... I am out to sea. It is dark and blustery. Winds are howling, rain and cold sea water are splashing me. The roar of the ocean makes it impossible to hear any sounds or feel anything but fear. The only way I can get out of this place, is walk a long plank that takes me to the shore. It's so dark I cannot see the plank most of the time. It's slippery and wet, and I can't stay on it without help. I try to walk on it, but because of the challenges, I find myself back in the boat curled up in a little corner with a blanket covering my head.

Along with some anti-depressants and the following visualization, I finally overcame and got to the shore.

My Savior is out there on the plank. He speaks to me with encouragement, holds out His hands, and sometimes even carries me along the plank. As long as I am holding on to Him, he never lets me go. Even though, I'm filled with fear, as long as I focus on the peacefulness that surrounds Him, I can keep going along the plank. I have faith that I can make it with His help. If I slip, I quickly reach for Him.

I still use this visualization when I'm feeling depressed or anxious or just in need of some extra strength.