Day Five

Today I will look for "tender mercies" - small blessings in my life.

My grown children are amazing blessings. My daughters and I love to go to lunch, eat lots of goodies, and then go to the gym together. That makes perfect sense!

Here I am sitting at the computer with a very beautiful baby boy on my lap. He has my cell phone in his mouth, which keeps his hands occupied only for a moment so I can type without his help. He's healthy, cute as can be, and I am so blessed to have him and my four other grandbabies in my life.

I look to my left and see a view of brilliant fall colors out my window. Every so often runners pass by, they are taking advantage of the cool air of fall. I am so blessed with health. In a few minutes my daughter Hannah and I will go for a run.

My parents gave me a stable childhood, thought I was special, taught me the importance of commitment, and took me to church every Sunday. Extended family ties bless my life.

The man I married loves to spend time with me, adores me, thinks I'm smart (he's right about that!), and has always been a good provider. We are best friends.

My bedroom is beautiful, fit for royalty. It's calling my name! Zzzzzzzz

Day Four

My challenge for day four is to think of a time when I relied on the Savior for strength beyond my own capabilities. This is my personal story.

When I was 37 years old, my mom was diagnosed with bone cancer, and after six months of watching her go through much pain and suffering, she died three days after Christmas. Caring for my mother during those last few months of her life was a life changing and a mentally excruciating experience. But, I will always cherish that time I could serve my sweet mother. It seemed as though a chapter closed in my life, and left me in a sad place.

Over the next couple of years, I battled depression. This is what depression feels like to me... I am out to sea. It is dark and blustery. Winds are howling, rain and cold sea water are splashing me. The roar of the ocean makes it impossible to hear any sounds or feel anything but fear. The only way I can get out of this place, is walk a long plank that takes me to the shore. It's so dark I cannot see the plank most of the time. It's slippery and wet, and I can't stay on it without help. I try to walk on it, but because of the challenges, I find myself back in the boat curled up in a little corner with a blanket covering my head.

Along with some anti-depressants and the following visualization, I finally overcame and got to the shore.

My Savior is out there on the plank. He speaks to me with encouragement, holds out His hands, and sometimes even carries me along the plank. As long as I am holding on to Him, he never lets me go. Even though, I'm filled with fear, as long as I focus on the peacefulness that surrounds Him, I can keep going along the plank. I have faith that I can make it with His help. If I slip, I quickly reach for Him.

I still use this visualization when I'm feeling depressed or anxious or just in need of some extra strength.

Day Four

Sorry about the negative post.

In todays' reading, it tells of the authors' great grandmother, and how she wrote this spiritual journal. The journal is so uplifting that the family gets together once a year to study the messages she left them.

So my post today was supposed to be spiritually uplifting and instead I wrote about my troubles with my son (which whom by the way is still in trouble, and I really don't know what to do about the situation).

I'm going to keep up with this 21-day quest, and I'll try to keep on task, but today's post just didn't turn out. Sorry!

My mother was an avid journal writer. Soon after she died, I sat down with her journal and wanted to know what she felt as she was going through the horrific painful death of bone cancer. There was nothing. The weather was beautiful outside, she went to the store, she had a little pain her legs, she needed to get finished doing this or that. What? Why didn't she tell me? I would have liked to know what she was feeling. She was so sure that complaining was not acceptable, that I didn't even know a whole real part of her.

I want to be a real person. I don't want to be negative, but I want to be real.

Day Three

I worked all day. The boys are out of school, so they pretty much ran wild all day long without supervision. I'm sure they loved not having me around to keep them picking up after themselves, cleaning their rooms, doing a few chores, and not watching too much TV. Now, Carson is at a friends house, it's getting close to 10 pm. I told him to tell me where he was going before he left so I could pick him up. Oh my...ugh!

How does this work in with today's challenge of keeping a journal of my uplifting and spiritual thoughts? Right now, I'm anxious, and worried about Carson. I'm sitting by the phone hoping that he calls soon. I'm exhausted from working all day. I didn't really have much of any spiritual experiences today. I forgot to say my prayers this morning, because I slept in a little too long, and jumped out of bed and hurried. Before I go to bed, I will read a few scriptures, and say my nightly prayers. I will try to handle the Carson situation in a Christ-like manner. How is that? Hummm! Some kind of consequence without losing my cool.

I'm Trying...

"Love one another as Jesus loves you. Try to be like him in all that you do. Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought for these are the things Jesus taught."

How can I be gentle and loving when my 11 year old gets out the Halloween face paint and gets it all over the bathroom, his bedroom, and a few nice towels? Oh my! Patience... I'm trying. Today was a good day, full of blessings, and abundance. Keep my thoughts centered on Christ.

Day Two

Christ washed the feet of his guests at the last supper. This was a powerful lesson for me. The humble act was symbolic, more than just the act of washing feet, it was a lesson in service of love in my daily walk of life. He expressed this love to me and all humanity. John 13:14 "If I then, your Lord and Master, have washed your feet; ye also ought to wash one anothers feet."

Today the challenge is to take upon myself the name of Christ, remember Him always, and honor his name all day. "When we take His name and always remember Him and keep His commandments, He gives us the greatest blessing He can give us, that is to always have His Spirit to be with us."

Right now I feel His spirit with me. I feel happy, peaceful, and energized. I'm ready to go forth and conquer my day. I have a full life with lots of great relationships and lots to do. I am never bored, but sometimes overwhelmed.